Things You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery

HO s p i t a lH U M O RThings You Don't Want To Hear During a Surgery- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?- Hand me that... uh... whatever it's called !- Oh no! I just lost my watch.- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?- There go the lights again...- Ya' know......

Tips for W o r k i n g Hard

Tips forW o r k i n g Hard1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet.Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression...

MOVIES NAMES - HUMOR

MOVIES NAMES - HUMORBY COMPUTER EXPERTS !!Har Dil Jo CHAT KaregaKaho na virus haiHum aap ke CUBICLE mein rahate haiHamara RESUME aap ke haath mein haiJAVA wale OFFER le jayengeHum WALK-IN ja chuke sanamDhai akshar HRD keJis Desh mein DOLLARS rahata HainHum To US jaayegaTera OFFER mil gayaSapne DOLLARS kePM ne phir yaada dilayaAa ab KUCH KAAM kareRESUME se OFFER LETTER takRaju ban gaya IT MAN..!JAVA wale ASP waleUS to jana hi thaPACKAGE ho to aisaCOMPANY...

INTELLIGENCE TEST

INTELLIGENCE TEST - QUIZ FOR THE WISE GUY !Time Limit: 2 Weeks.What colour was Rana Pratap's WHITE horse?If D.D is the short form of DOORDARSHAN, what's the long form?Would you ask William Shakespeare to:(a) build a bridge(b) sail the ocean(c) lead an army(d) WRITE A PLAYMetric conversion.How many feet in 0.0 meters?What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?What language is spoken in RUSSIA?How to you spell PURPLE?Six...

STUPID'S EXAM PAPER

STUPID'S EXAM PAPER [This one's little difficult than last year's] 1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters (only alphabet are allowed, no numeric digits or "_" allowed) 2. Sex? ( ) Male ( ) Female ( ) Don't know. 3. What's your age group? ( ) less than 0 ( ) equal to 0 ( ) greater than 0 4. What is 2 + 2=? ( ) FOUR ( ) 4 ( ) IV 5. If you have one brother, how many brothers does your brother have? (...

Computer Terms funny

Computer Terms funny486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.Obsolete - Any computer you own.Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I boughtfor the same price a Microsecond ago."Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer...

Things You'd Love To Say At Work... But Can't

Things You'd Love To Say At Work... But Can't I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. How do I set a laser printer to stun? I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. I...

Funny Definitions, Funny word meanings

Abundance - A baker's exercise (A-bun-dance)Arbitrator - A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.Arcade - A lemonade type drink served on Noah's Ark.Avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.Babysitter - A small child that has not learned to crawl or walk.Baloney - Where some hemlines fall.Band-Aid - A fund to help a band.Bernadette - The act of torching a mortgage.Burglarize - What a crook sees with.Cadillac - Lack of cattle.Contents -...

ATM FUNNY STUFF

ATM FUNNY STUFF Difference between men and women when getting cash from an ATM Men Drive to the bank, park, go to the cash dispenser Insert card Dial code and desired amount Take the cash, the card and the slip Women Drive to the bank Engine stalled Check make-up in the mirror Apply perfume Manually check haircut Park the car - failure Park the car - failure Park the car - success Search for the card in the handbag ...

warning Labels

warning Labels Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a hairdryer : Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of sweets: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?) On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion:...

Love Quotes

Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!~ from the movie Moulin Rouge ~ ---------------------------------Other men said they have seen angels,But I have seen theeAnd thou art enough.~ by G. Moore ~ ---------------------------------I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be . . . if you'll be my baby.~ From a song by Savage Garden ~ ---------------------------------I love you - those three words...